Personally, I don’t think there is a line between the sacred and the secular,” she suggests. “If a person is living before God’s eyes, everything is sacred. All of life is sacred, as opposed to trying to make church songs in one box and love songs in another box. I think we need to get rid of the separation. I hope these songs will land somewhere between encouraging people and leading them to ask questions about what they really believe. I hope to stir up conversations in their soul. I love the mysterious elements of God, and again, not to separate the sacred from the secular, but see the story of God in our lives and in the dirt of humanity.
There comes a time when a movement comes to a decision and they go to the right or the left. But, what happens when they turn to the left, and not the right? To the side, and not straight on?
I didn’t intend to be an artist, but I originally started writing in the prayer room where I led two or three sessions a day,” she recounts of a multi-faceted role that dates back to her days as an intern at the International House of Prayer. “The songs that came out of those seasons had a very repetitive chorus type of feel to them and a lot of corporate singing off very scripturally-based themes. Not only have a lot of my past albums been centered around corporate worship songs, but the last record was recorded in the corporate live setting. I never want to walk away from that, but worship and creativity under God is bigger than just corporate expression exclusively, and in my heart, I’ve always had a singer/songwriter side. This project focuses more on lyrics than choruses and is not as repetitive as I may have been in the past, which has been a really fun process for me as a writer. The fact is I became an artist very accidentally and it all just evolved naturally, but because the Lord gave me a chance, I’m going to strive to do it with excellence.
The pressures on a worship leader to conform, for a forerunner to capitulate, are immense. When a taste of success comes to an individual, no matter the individual, the inner workings of the heart come forward.
Little seeds of ruin, seemingly innocuous when in infancy, in the abundance of the rain of popularity, begin to flourish along with those that are true.
This element of hidden iniquity accompanies nearly every successful movement at first. Practically, no movement is begun in absolute purity. And, in the passage of time, it is realistic to ascertain that not all maintain absolute perfection.
But while grace and mercy are what the Gospel is, error is error and a little leaven can leaven a whole lump.
So, what do you do when a growing prayer and worship movement is bit by the popularity bug? What is to be done when those in the wilderness embrace the marketplace?
Nothing but turn away, and walk on.
The reasoning is understandable, from a human perspective. The criticism of some who would say this or that, that a voice sounds immature or childish, that some certain songs are too repetitive or whatnot, and the desire to do good, these all have their influence upon a leader. On top of that, it is certainly the truth that significant portion of the church, understanding nothing of the anointing nor the power of God, actively embraces mere human means to bring about supposedly ‘godly’ results. These, while thinking they are serving God, encourage believers to, of their own volition, use their talents in the world, in the name of Christ, for worldly success. This is always nothing more than an “Ishmael”, for God shows His best when we cannot.
It is understandable, as we said, from a human perspective, but we are not called to live as mere men.
And, this is the issue.
Have we always had an artist side? So what? The words expose the heart. If it is what you want, it is worthless. Be it an artist, performer, preacher, prophet, or whatever. But, the answer to the question has nothing to do with what I want, but what He does. Does He want me to be an artist? Then I will follow. Not only does there need to be no other justification, there cannot be. This is the wasted life.
Rees Howell started a church with a friend. After the friend moved to take over the church for himself, God told Rees to walk away from it, and give it to him. What was Rees’ reason? God said. Being an artist, an accountant, or a worship leader is no different. A heart set on love can do nothing of any of those in and of itself, but only as their Lord leads, do the follow Him for the sake of love.
There is a difference between sacred and secular, most certainly. And, simply living before the gaze of One does not sanctify every action of any said believer. Those actions which are sacred, those are the ones that truly are, and those actions which are not sacred, simply are not. But, while it may be possible to live wholly consecrated in this life, as John Wesley put forward the notion of ‘Christian Perfection’, the notion that “I am, therefore they are” smacks as nothing but a prideful fallacy. Let us turn away from such chatter.
It doesn’t come on all of a sudden, though, this living after One Thing.
You see, there is a “halfway house”, a wonderful building somewhere the middle of our wonderful journey to fully know and understand God. That building is called “delight”, for we are delighting in Him. But, the danger here is that one has not arrived, but they are only “half way”. It is here that, as Madame Guyon put it, many have become disillusioned and lost their way–turned back from their highest call, or abandoned the faith altogether.
As it says in Psalms 138:2, God has exalted His Word above even His own name. There is something greater than simply the presence, His name, and that is absolute surrender to His will and way, His Word. We must enjoy and live by the presence, but when the word says to go to the cross, we must do so at any expense.
True victory over the flesh comes not from merely finding and loving the way, but in learning to recognize and reject, even hate (Luke 14:26), every other road.
It is right to delight in Him above all else, but we can arrive at that place where we do delight in Him, but in Him alone. It is in this place, and this alone, that we are utterly secure. And, have we lost anything? Matthew 13:44 says we haven’t. In the Lord, whatever we lose, it’s not about the cost, it’s about the worth.
But, here we are confused. On the one side, we see all this potential, all that we could do, and whose to know, right? There are many who say we should indulge our gifts to make a profit, or to achieve worldly means. If God does indeed call you there, by all means, follow the Lord. But, despite there being very real arguments about what can be done with a modicum of worldly success, it does not make it God any more than Sarah’s fleshly pressure on her husband caused God’s promise to be fulfilled. There is the temptation, always there, to allow our current situation to bring about decisions and methods which are different, and they will affect the ultimate outcome of our good success.
The truth is, you really can get off the road at any time you want. The costs are high, the pressures great, and the rewards largely invisible, and you can simply choose to step off, and go another way. And, by and large, when you do decide to do it right, you will go unappreciated, unknown, told how to do it better, and, in terms of what the world calls success, you will probably lose. But, that’s what it’s about. If you have really seen a treasure, and you lose it all, so long as that treasure is worth more, you always gain.
And, most of all, in terms of influence, if you really want to be great before God, you never really had any influence to begin with. Keep it that way.
What the world calls influence is a soulish power to enable those who are trapped within this life to perpetuate their lifestyle of unbelief and worldly patterns. But, God works by His Spirit alone.
It is only in the power of what only God by Himself can do, not us, that brings forth the Kingdom. It is only that which is born of Spirit that avails spiritual results, and that which is born of the flesh will scarcely outlive us, if even a generation or two.
For, as John the Baptist said, a man can receive nothing unless it is given to him from above.
A true Word of the Spirit produces a spiritual fruit. That which is stirred up in the soul cannot produce anything but the carnal, but when a man hears a word from heaven, it is at that moment that faith can be sprung up within his heart. Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.
And, that is the battle, the battle for identity. We want to be something, but the greatest one of all was nothing but a Son. We want to have something to say, but of the greatest two men, John the Baptist and Jesus of Nazareth, the first was only the voice of someone else crying, and the second spoke only what He heard from His Father. Neither one of them had anything of their own.
Are we a singer and songwriter? Do we find identity in it? If we do, we have our fountains in something other than God. And, what fruit will it produce? Others who want to entertain their own ideas of their own greatness.
But, that half way house of the soul determines which way we will go.
The greatest choice we can make is to surrender fully to the Spirit. To do only what we see the Father do. If we do this or that, we do it only because it is what He is doing.
The difference can be subtle, but makes all the difference in the world.
John the Baptist did not succeed in this life. He opened his mouth and lost his head. Jesus, likewise, only came to ‘greatness’, only to be slain shortly thereafter. But, no one can argue with their lives. What profit to gain the whole world and lose your soul?
To have no identity but Jesus, whether he has you write and sing songs, or clean sewers, is true freedom, indeed. It is first to reach the half way house, and then to give up your rights to be willing to die, if need be, and go all the way home.
“Another reason I went in this direction on [this album] is to encourage others in the worship movement to think outside the box and not be limited to corporate expression,” she adds. “A lot of worship leaders feel limited and frustrated creatively, but we’re called to so much more as Christians, even when it comes to our typical definition of worship. I also wanted to channel the kind of music I personally listen to, so it’s also a case of being authentic to what I like. I strongly believe there’s a whole group of listeners who won’t gravitate towards worship music because they have a taste for a different kind of creativity, and it was in my heart to reach those people.”
Jesus told Martha, regarding Mary, One Thing is needed, and Mary has chosen the better part, and it shall not be taken from her.
When we listen to the critiques of others, we become like them. We may never accomplish ‘greatness’ in the eyes of men, but we will show forth the greatness of our King. In conforming, we cease to be unique, and concede simply to fit in.
Why try to meet someone where they are at? We may “become all things to all men”, but if what we offer to them is to be where they are at, we well never lead them to where we want them to be. If we have anything worth believing, we best do our talking from there.
Of course most won’t hear. So what?
So, what do we do when a worship movement turns emergent?
Nothing–but we don’t walk with them.
We never did, anyway, as it seems. We were never a part of what lurks hidden, as is evidenced by our walking apart. Let us keep apart, and walk in victory.
But, we pray for them, and we speak the words of life, edifying, and hope to see a change.
But, to one, a seed falls, and it grows, and to another, it comes, and it does not. God alone knows how to exalt the one and bring low the other.
“I’m definitely an introvert with a philosophical heart,” she concedes. “The frailty and purpose of life are what drives me the most, and I’ve always been so aware of both. I’m captivated by thoughts of eternity, who God is and I’m very consumed with serving an audience of one. What does He want from me? Living that question leads to so many more, and I’m driven to fulfill His purpose.”
Yet, philo-sophia, the love of wisdom, is what ruins men. As 1 Timothy 6:20 says, avoid the so-called knowledge, it has led many to walk away from the faith, even.
So long as this life drives you, that one doesn’t, and the only solution is the one that it began with. He who hates his life in this world will save it in Eternity, John 12:25.
Only a man before God can make the individual decision of whether any particular movement has truly left it’s original course. But, it begs to reason, that if what got you to the door of opportunity was so great, shouldn’t you stick with it?
If what God used to open the greatness of that door was the pure and focused call of a life on fire, doesn’t it stand to reason that resorting to “success”, and capitalizing on what the world would suggest, is nothing but an indication of how much the world is willing to pay to make you sell out?
There is nothing to be said, other than to cut your losses, fix your helmet of salvation on a little firmer on your own head, and ride straight ahead into the King of Glory, in whose face is a blaze of fire.
Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame.
Song of Solomon 8:6
